Im gonna kill myself plz help?

Im 14 cutter and suicidal and im scared to death to tell my parents im not good for anyrhing my dad thinks imma lost cause, my grandpa molested me as a kid ( no one even knows about tht ), and after being in school for 9 years i only made 1 friend and she doesnt even respond to my txt or anything all cuz i told her i cut ( i told her i cut like 7 months ago ), everyone hates me. My parents dont give jack sh*t bout me i could go chug alcohol and be dying and they would say sleep it off. And once when i smoked to much weed i went into a seizure and they didnt even know ( when they were RIGHT downstairs ), and one time i was sick throughing my guts up for like 3 hours and my dad just waited downstairs for my mom to come home so she could tend to me, i mean i have NOTHING to live for the only ppl tht would miss me if i died would be my mom and my dog both my brothers hate me everyday. Ive tried to quit cutting but i never can. I once took an asprin then cut myself tht was a complete mess all my bath water was,pure red, and after sitting in the tub for almost an hour they didnt even check on me, i almost died tht night so all i did was wrap it and go to bed. And i cut EVEERTIME i get in the shower or tub which is about 1 time aday