What do I do if my Dads answer to everything is. I did not make you do it.?

I know he means well. But he's been telling me this since I was four. He tries to guide people and they usually don't see what he means either. I'm also schizophrenic with borderline personality disorder. So I don't hear things right all the time. It's something in me that gets stuck a word or phrase that I don't understand. Like if time were to slow down on just that thing. It repeats over and over in my head. Until I get migraines. "I did not make you do it" Makes things sound extreme and overly dramatic especially when it comes to stuff like sexuality religion and work. These questions get so ingrained in my head that I struggle to answer the next ones. And the next ones after that. I'm drowning in my own problems and I can't see the light. Its gotten to the point where I can't look at him because he'll just give me that same expression. "I did not make you do it" He suppose to be my guide but I'm twenty now. And still stuck in middle school with my thinking. To scared to ask him for anymore help. To sick to care. My mom has a constant blood pressure of 70 over 120 even when shes mad. I don't know how she puts up with him or me for that matter. She's more of a person than he is sometimes. I want to learn from her. But my dad does not let up on thinking I'm just being a bad boy. Is my attitude wrong? Or am I just a bad boy? He's my step dad by the way so we don't share medical history. I was molested at four by my uncle but I don't like being the victim. I leave that interesting fact out when I get counseling because they think thats the main issue in my life. But its not. Its my relationship with my dad. The effects of my schizophrenia are agression, paranoia "so I might be making this all up" and trust issues. I'm not this expressive in real life either. I shut down like a "bad boy" when I don't trust someone. I don't want to be this shut in anymore. But I don't owe people anything to begin with. How do I over come these things?